you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
