that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
