i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
