That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
