your room smells of hookers.
And success
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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