Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
