This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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