yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
