I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
