Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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