But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
