Pappa wants mamma naked
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I made him laugh his dick is mine
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
