I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
