Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
