Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
