I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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