ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
