her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
