okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
