he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They took my balls.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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