i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
