Please, let me fuck your mom
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
