She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
