4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
