Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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