I'm really into asian looking animals
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
