I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
