i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
