1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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