wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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