what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
