my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
