you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
40s are totally the cure
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
