just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
