I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
where are you?
Hypothermia
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
