God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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