I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
