i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
