We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How does one acquire holy water?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
