I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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