first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
