After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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