Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
