My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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