We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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