She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
