He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
