garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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