I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
no, he came in my armpit
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think people are normalizing furries
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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