what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
